I Know I’m a Bit Late With This…
Posted November 29, 2012on:
…and I promise not to make a habit of that.
Yesterday was hard.
I did get my internet back on Tuesday, but then something was wrong with the roomie’s internet. After spending the better part of the day and night trying to get it back, I gave up and went to bed.
Woke up yesterday feeling incredibly bleak. It was the 28th, and we had no money until the end of the month. I had, while working on the roomie’s internet, called the friend I was supposed to be meeting and postponed that until Sunday, which is the last possible day to see one of the two exhibits at the Brooklyn Museum that we had been planning to see. Got notified by the bank that two more payments were declined — and this is still stemming from the deficit caused the last time the roomie screwed up (in October). She is not happy about having to put more money than usual into the account for our expenses, but I am not happy about incurring hundreds of dollars in bounce fees because she got scared of a creditor.
So I stayed in bed mot of the day, feeling hopeless and — something I try not to do — sorry for myself. And when I did get up, I jut ate what was in the house — a small corn muffin for breakfast, and two bowls of chicken and rice (one for lunch one for dinner). I didn’t bother with portion control, nor did I bother tracking. I also did a little phone tech support for my sister, and sat on the phone for an hour with a Cablevision tech, and about an hour with a techie friend trying to get the roomie’s internet back. The techie friend and I managed to narrow down the issue to that the roomie’s computer is not seeing the router, even when it is directly plugged in to the computer. Fortunately, I made the roomie purchase a service contract, so she is going to take the machine back to the store and have them fix it.
Anyway, the upshot of all the above is that I have been feeling particularly down and miserable, and I reverted to what my old eating habits were. I didn’t think, I didn’t choose to do so, I just reacted the way I have so many times before — shoved down the frustration, anger, helplessness, and hopelessness with food.
However, now that that ha happened, I have acknowledged that I did so, and will not beat myself up over it. I am going to move forward, and work at being more cognizant of what is going on WHEN IT I GOING ON, so that I can deal with the issues in a more appropriate manner.
While I was at the doctor’s on Monday, I was able to obtain a clearance from him for dental work, so I have an appointment today at 2:30 with the new dentist. I really love my old dentist, but he is not on the list of dentists approved by the Medicaid dental plan, so I chose the dentist nearest my house.
Anyway, I again apologize for being late with this, and I will have my regular accountability post on Friday.