Accountability (or Payback is a Beyotch)
Posted February 1, 2013on:
On Wednesday and Thursday, I gave up for a bit. I stopped tracking, and reverted to my old way of eating. The result was a 5 lb. weight gain, but it didn’t freak me out. When you consider that I came through the holiday season with a nice weight loss, this was a bit puzzling, but it is what it is. What it did was reinforce my new style for several reasons.
First, I hated the way I felt. I felt slow and sluggish. I ran out of energy early on, and I slept poorly – partly because we ate dinner far too late in the evening. (That issue has been discussed with the roommate, and we will be eating at a much more normal time going forward.) I ate fewer veggies and more starches. It felt awful. I don’t think I want to do that again.
Second, I learned that I have learned a few things. I didn’t beat myself up over the reversion. I accepted that those were the choices I made for those days, and let it go. I can choose differently with every meal going forward. Choosing badly for a day or two – while not something I want to do very often – is not the end of the road; nor does it make me a total failure. It just means I made some less than beneficial choices for a few meals. Considering how many meals I have made (and will continue to make) good choices for, it’s not even a drop in the overall bucket.
The interesting thing is that, having stumbled, I still feel empowered and in control. I did a few things to reinforce that at meeting (finally treated myself to the new 360° member kit, and a new recipe book focusing on veggies). And I got to meeting and on the scale. I said to the receptionist that I knew it would be a gain, and that so long as it wasn’t over 5 lbs., I would be fine with it. And I was, much to my own surprise. She said that if I really didn’t want to know, I could ask to skip weigh-in this week. My answer to that was , “And who would I be kidding? Only myself, and I already know what I did.” She seemed surprised that I felt that way, and complimented me on deciding to face it. The thing is I tend to face up to what I do, because – in my not-so-humble experience, unless you own your choices and their results, you cannot move forward.
My walking has been execrable this week. Instead of going out every day, as I had planned, I only went out the one day the temperature was over 50°, and ran out of steam fairly early on. But the roomie and I did get a lot done that day; I had some dental work done, then walked to the Post Office to meet the roomie. After that we walked back to the bus and headed to downtown Brooklyn to deal with her bank, had lunch, then headed halfway back across the borough to get to my bank to deposit money for the rent. I had planned a few other errands after that, but that was when my energy crashed out almost completely, so we headed home, and I slept for several hours instead.
Fortunately, winter will soon be gone, and it will be walking weather again. I have some local explorations planned for when that happens, and I plan to do a little museum visiting next week – even if I have to do it alone. I know that getting my walking range back will contribute mightily to getting me back on track.
So, have you run into any stumbling blocks lately? If so, did you beat yourself up over it? Did you take it as a sign of failure, or just a bump in the path? What did you learn from it? What did you do to get back on track? What can you do going forward to prevent or minimize such slips?