It’s Been Way Too Long…
Posted on: November 20, 2022
- In: Backstory | Books | Health | Life Happens | taking my life back
- 1 Comment
I know. I’m a bad blogger. But when my life started imploding, writing about it became impossible. You can ask the friends who lived through it with me — it was a lot of resentment and wallowing, things I hate doing.
So, here I sit. 2022 is almost over, thank the Gods and Goddesses. COVID and living with it and its variants have sort of become normalized. The next expected medical mess is on the horizon (according to folks at various health organizations), and I could not leave the house (other than for hospital and rehab visits) for over a year.
So, why am I picking this blog up again? Because I’m taking back what control I can. I’ve begun working on making art again. I have taken on a huge reading project. And I signed up for Noom to drop the bloat and weight I’d regained.
As for the art, I’ve begun with tiny sketchbooks and sparkle pens — kind of where I began back in high school. Mostly, I’m doing abstracts – just playing with color and shape. Still, every so often something representational appears, like an attempt to sketch Kitt, our older cat (she’s 19).
The reading project…. As most folks know, each year I take part in the Goodreads reading challenge. I do this for several reasons: 1. I love to read; 2. My mobility may be temporarily screwed, but there’s no reason for my brain to atrophy; 3. There is so much out there that I want to read before I pass from earth, and time is (now that I’m 70) becoming a much more precious quantity. So, I’ve taken on Benjamin McEvoy’s program that gives you the equivalent of an Oxford University education in literature. So far, I’m in the prep stages, but two cool things have happened. I rediscovered my love of Dickens as a writer, and I’ve fallen in love with Russian novels.
As for Noom and related things… Between a bad doctor and the decreased mobility, I ballooned up to – at one point – 337 lbs. I am now down to 277.4 lbs, and still losing the bloat. This is a bit more interesting than I had thought because a writer acquaintance of mine (Mary Anne Mohanraj) has just released her wonderful cookbook second cookbook, <i>Vegan Serendib/i>. Since one of my goals is to get my diet to be more plant-based, and since I love Indian and Sri Lankan food, this thrills me. One of my goals for now to the end of 2023 is to adapt her recipes from both cookbooks (the other is <i>A Feast of Serendib</i> to fit in with my weight loss plans. Last night, Sue and I made her cauliflower poriyal, and I had it for breakfast over a little rice this morning, and it was yummy. She has recipes for almost every occasion in there, and I intend to make all the ones that do not have rosewater (I’m pretty violently allergic) in them. If I can adapt them to use some other liquid I will, but the reaction is strong enough that I will leave it out or not make the recipe. Fortunately, when I tried recipes from her other book, she was findable online if I had questions about substitutions, ingredients, etc.
So, at the moment life is starting to look up again. I suspect that it’s more the changes in my attitude (I got tired of wallowing) than anything physical – with one important exception. Thanks to some bad care at the hospital and rehab, I ended up with a huge necrotic bedsore on my right hip. The home nurse, and the home wound care doctor would work on fixing it and it would get better, but every time I went into the hospital or rehab, the doctors there would decide they knew better, and I came out of it with a worse wound each time. That wound is finally almost healed, and I can look forward to wearing clothing again, rather than the nightgowns that have been my permanent state of dress since February.
Life improving, I had blogged about my reading. Then, when I got on the scale this morning, I decided it was time to pick this blog up again, too. After all, this is an important part of my journey. I hope you’ll stick around to see what happens, and I also hope you will comment freely on what gets discussed here.
Trying to Explain the Gap
Posted on: October 4, 2021
I know it’s been a long time. There is probably no way I can catch up without writing a novella-sized post, so I will try to just hit highlights.
In June of 2019, Sue and I got married. We had a specific reason for doing so, which I am willing to discuss privately, but not in a public forum. Suffice it to say things are not working out well for varying reasons, also discussable privately.
In August of 2020, I had a horrible allergic reaction to some medication that basically turned my lower legs into something that looked like raw ground beef. I am still dealing with some of the ramifications of that. At the end of November, thing had gotten so bad that the doctors thought I might have to have both legs amputated just above the knees. As you can imagine, this was pretty terrifying. I spent three weeks in the hospital, then another two and a half months in a rehab, where I got both COVID-19 and head lice.
I never received the COVID vaccination while I was there, even though I was promised that I would get it. So, when I got home on March 24th, I called the City to register for their program for getting the vaccination at home. I ended up having to reregister twice, and still had no vaccination after three months. In June, I got sick of the run-around, so I called NEWS 12 Brooklyn and asked why – when every commercial and every newscast claimed that any New Yorker who wanted to be vaccinated could be – I was unable to get the vaccination. They sent out a reporter the next day, and ran the story. Four days later, the City called to schedule my vaccination appointment.
In July of this year, we discovered that my wife had apparently had a small brain-bleed at some point. She has since had a second MRI, and one consult with a neurologist. She has another appointment with the neurologist at the end of this month.
I had another episode of congestive heart failure in August, which got me five days in hospital. I’m still having a lot of issues with the cellulitis/lymphedema, and it doesn’t look like they will resolve themselves any time soon. This does not make me happy, of course, but there isn’t much that can be done about it. Of course, the diuretics to try to keep it under control are dangerous for both my afib and my kidney function, so that means more doctor appointments to monitor things.
The only really good thing that has come out of the time between August 2020 and now is I have been able to increase my reading time to almost what I feel it should be. I have passed my original goal for the Goodreads 2021 Reading Challenge (I did meet the 2020 goal), and I have completed the Book Riot 2021 Read Harder Challenge. I am now working on the Old Books, New Readers 2021 Classic Decades Challenge (read 1 book from each decade between 1851 and 1970. I have read six s far, and am working on my 7th. I have also expanded the Goodreads 2021 goal twice: from 200 to 250, and then from 250 to 300 books. I have so far read 266 books.
The other thing I discovered while in the rehab was the delight of audiobooks, so now I have another way to enjoy them.
I have also been able to do a bit of decluttering as far as clothing goes. My ultimate goal there is to have only as many clothes as will fit into the armoire I bought before my legs got messed up. I am also planning to cull books – giving away or selling most of the physical books that I already have on e-readers or Audible. This won’t be a complete cull – there are books I will not get rid of – either autographed to me, books about NYC history, books by favorite writers, my cookbook collection, etc. But I want to get things that I own more than one copy of out of the house. I also need to reorganize my art supplies, and get the set of pictures I bought from my friend Cindy hung somewhere that they won’t fall down.
So, those are the highlights of what’s been going on in my life lately. I will try to do better about keeping up in the future.
Most folks who read me here know enough about me to know that I dress primarily for comfort. As such, over the years I have generally eschewed leggings. It’s not that I don’t like them per se – I’ve spent too many years in dance and yoga classes to ever say that. However, I generally didn’t find the kinds of legging that were easily available to be comfortable or convenient. I mean, come on, they didn’t even have real pockets. If anything, they had what looked like a pocket, but was just some fancy pretend pocket opening, sewn together and with no pocket inside to catch things like your keys.
Well, I have seen the light. A friend of mine, Rosalie, is selling leggings for a company called My Legging Craze. You can buy these legging from her website, or you can look at her Facebook page, Rosalie’s Legging Craze, or you can host a party with her as your stylist.
Their sizes run true to size, and their leggings come in a wide variety of sizes: from kids leggings all the way up to women’s 5X. They are wonderfully soft and wonderfully sturdy. I own about ten pairs at this point, along with a couple of their dresses and tops. the bulk of their leggings are in the $20 to $25 range, and their dresses, tops, cardigans and kimono-style jackets run a bit higher.
Now it’s really enough that they have a great product, but the thing I like best is that their consultants are more than willing to go the extra mile to make customers happy. I had one pair of leggings that had a small hole in an indelicate spot. I mentioned this to Rosalie, and she asked me to email her supervisor with a pic of the hole. I did so, and within 24 hours the piece was being replaced. Further, the supervisor checked back with me after I had gotten the replacement to make sure I was happy with it.
SO, for their great product, and superb service, I am giving a shout out to My Legging Craze, and hope that you all decide to give it a try. And if you do, I would love to hear about your experience in the comments!
It’s Been a Year…
Posted on: February 21, 2018
- In: Backstory | Health | House Stuff
- 2 Comments
I’m not going to complain. And I’m not going to go into too many details, but the past year has been rough. My roommate had a bunch of medical issues she was ignoring come crashing down on her such that she spent from mid-September to early November in either hospitals or rehab, and had to have a cardioversion and a TAVR procedure to replace her aortic valve. She’s also a full-on diabetic, including needing insulin shots four times a day. While in the hospital, she was sufficiently discombobulated as to give me incorrect instructions re our diabetic cat, with the result that we nearly lost the cat to a massive insulin overdose.
However, this all seems to have scared her enough that changes have started being made here. One of my friends, Lisa Braun, is spectacular at organizing and Getting Things Done. She and I got the roomie’s room dug out while she was in the hospital and the rehab. Then Lisa helped me start organizing the kitchen and the living room. Then she ran across some folks that were moving who had ten Ikea Billy bookcases (including a corner unit, three regular bookcases, two glass-fronted bookcases, two narrow open fronted bookcases, and two tall cupboards). She arranged for us to buy the bookcases and to get them moved here, so we now have enough bookcases for all except the cookbooks and food books, which are still being organized. During the process of reorganizing the living room, I found a dealer who specializes in old prog rock, so I was able to sell a lot of my records (I have most of the stuff on my computer in iTunes, anyway). This netted me a fair sum, which went into getting some stuff to organize my room more. We are now working in my room. We started with the goals of unearthing my desk and desk chair; organizing my art supplies, moving my Peloton bike to the living room, getting rid of the old desk and file cabinet that were here when I moved in and moving the small barrister bookcase to the roomie’s room so she can put her TV on it.eventually, we may need a handyman to take down the blinds the clown the roomie’s mom hired put up wrong when she moved in here and properly put up sets of blinds on the windows in our bedrooms, the kitchen, and the front room. If he can also mount a rod for a proper shower curtain, that would be a Very Good Thing.
I continue to have a yoga teacher come to the house twice a week, but I am getting to where I am starting to consider going to Integral Yoga and using the year of free yoga classes I won at the last dinner they held. And I am planning to get back on program and lose the weight I gained while I was so sick for the last few years.
SO keep an eye on this space, and we will see what twists and turns my life takes. Oh, and there probably will be lots of pictures of the house reorganization over the next while.
A Relatively Quick Whinge
Posted on: February 17, 2017
- In: Accountability | Eating out | Life Happens | Perspective | Quick Notes | Self-work
- 2 Comments
I was hoping to have a dinner report about a new-to-us place that specializes in hand-pulled ramen and in soup dumplings, but that’s not really gonna happen tonight (although there may be a note on the order the roomie is bringing home for me).
At dinner last Friday, I was sitting next to one person who says she didn’t know she was getting the flu, which attacked her pretty violently Saturday morning. I didn’t know she was sick until two days ago. When I started getting sick on Tuesday, I just figuredit was stuck energy from all the internal growth work I’ve been doing. That happens, and you just get through it.
Wednesday, she sent me an email that she wasn’t joining us this week because she had awakened Saturday with the flu. Thursday, I had the electric blanket on “4”, which I never do, and it barely felt warm. Asked the roomie for the thermometer and, lo and behold, I had a temperature of 101.2. I called the woman and asked what the onset symptoms of her flu were, and they matched mine. Lovely. She kept insisting that I could not have gotten it from her and must have picked it up elsewhere. However, this chain of events is math that even a mathophobe like me can figure out.
Yes, I am sure that she did not intend for me to get sick. I really don’t think most people go around trying to make others lives miserable (well, except maybe my sister, who prides herself on doing just that). What is really annoying me, however, is her continued insistence that she could not have been the source of my flu.
I have an old friend, Naomi. We know each other since 1972, and have each done our share of stupid-ass things over the years, to which the other’s response has always been “I’m gonna kill you, then we’ll do lunch.” The reason this works is that both of us are willing to look at and own the stupid-ass stuff we do.
Anyway, the roomie is going to bring home some soup dumplings, some duck ramen with hand-pulled noodles, and some braised duck for me so I will be able to report on the food if nothing else.
In other news, I got a smaller rollator, and I fit into it! This new rollator weighs about 15 lbs. less than the old one. The roomie was able to carry the whole thing, in the box, from the front door to my room, and it does move easily between the rooms of the house. I gave the old one to a friend for his wife, as a backup.
So, whinge and flu aside, it’s been mostly a good week.
Integrating Changes
Posted on: February 8, 2017
It’s been a pretty full few days.
I had a dinner group meeting at Teresa’s, a favorite Polish restaurant in Brooklyn Heights, on Friday, 3 February. Due to the cold, it was a small group, but a pleasant evening was had by all.
Tuesday, I got some real movement in taking back my life – both literally and figuratively. I already had a dentist appointment for mid-afternoon, due to a loose tooth (more about that later), so I did one of the scariest things I could think of…I scheduled a beginner ride at the Peloton Studio in Chelsea (140 West 23rd Street, between Sixth & Seventh Avenues). Mind, I had bought a Peloton bike a bit over a year ago but ended up being too sick to use it for more than one ride. Also, I was having trouble with getting the shoe clips into the pedals, even after I bought toe cups so I could use regular sneakers with the bike. Well, my neurosurgeon cleared me to use the bike last week, so I figured I should go to the studio and they could show me why I was having issues with the clips. While I was on the phone with them, I asked if they had any really gentle classes, and explained my situation. The young woman I spoke with noted that they had a beginner ride on Tuesday at 1:30, but that I should come earlier to set things up. I did so, with the roomie accompanying me to watch my stuff and to make sure I had help after the dentist if I needed it. I got to the studio, signed in, had a studio account set up for me so I could book rides there when I want to, and spoke with the manager, who had a few concerns about my condition, which I was able to allay. I also was able to show her that I was flexible enough to bend from the waist and touch my toes while standing — something I hadn’t tried doing since the surgery.
Anyway, she decided to let me try the ride, and I’m thrilled that she did. I lasted for 15 of the 30 minutes, but I was able to raise the bike’s resistance from a start of 0 to 2, and get my cadence up to 85. I probably could have pushed through for the second half of the ride, but I had promised my surgeon that I would go slowly and not overdo it. Still, it felt so good to be back on a bike – even a stationary bike with my feet clipped in so I couldn’t fall off! I know I wasn’t going full bore, but it still felt like I was flying! Even better, I felt like me for the first time since before the heart issues happened! I would have even tried walking to the dentist (I had the rollator with me), but the roomie’s hip was so bad she was stopping every ten feet or so. When she apologized for holding me up, I just said to heck with it and flagged down a cab. It felt odd to be walking faster than her while using the rollator, but I think it means that I am making real progress to getting my walking back. Now if only they were not predicting heavy snow for tomorrow night into Friday…I would gladly try walking out for more than a couple of blocks. Oh well, I will get there in good time.
My Weight Watchers coach, the much-beloved Robert, recommended an app called Headspace to me a few weeks ago. I tried it, and love it. It’s a ten-minute-a-day mindfullness app. I highly recommend the free version to everyone. Further, if anyone does try it and likes it, feel free to add me as a buddy there.
Another free thing I came across in my Internet wandering is The Yoga Summit. One of the interviews there was by a woman named Danielle La Porte, who somehow resonated with me despite being about half my age. I checked out her website and blog, and decided that I wanted to try some of her methods.
So, things are starting to look positive again, for the first time in a very long time.
There is some very good news this week. I spoke to my surgeon, Dr. Soriaya Motivala, on Thursday. She says that I do not have to wear the bone-growth stimulator anymore and that I can start using my Peloton exercise bike again, so long as I go slowly and do not overreach.
In other good news, I dropped six pounds this week, so I am cautiously optimistic that I am getting back on track. Wednesday, I decided that on days that I’m not going out I will go back to tracking my food for a while. but may switch to “Simply Filling” on days that I am going out. (I did track last night’s dinner – it was pretty easy to do since I planned what I was going to order before I left the house.
Dinner last night was wonderful. We ate at an old favorite, El Gran Castillo de Jagua, at 355 Flatbush Avenue, which makes some of the best Dominican dishes around. I had the fillet of salmon with a side order of sweet plantains. I did sneak a bite of Marc Glasser’s mofongo with pork (mashed plantains, usually with some meat or fish added). For a change, I managed to get through dinner without ordering any soda. The attendees were Marc Glasser, Cyndi Cascanti, Joe Sullivan, Sue Levy (the roomie), Maury Kestenbaum, Chuck Hancock, Ariel Winterbreucke, Mark Blackman, and me. Joe was kind enough to drive Marc, Sue and me to Marc’s afterward
Okay, I promised I would post the carrot stew recipe. Let me start by posting what Lucy had to say about it that inspired me to make it:
“I’ve started adding what I call ‘carrot stew’ to my repertoire. The name comes from a picture book we had when our kids were small, The Tawny, Scrawny Lion, in which a hungry lion encounters a fat little rabbit, but before the lion can gobble him up, the rabbit invites the lion to come home with him and share a dinner of carrot stew with him and his five fat rabbit brothers and six fat rabbit sisters. So this lion goes home with him, thinking that 12 little fat rabbits will make a better meal than just one, and the rabbits throw carrots and onions and mushrooms and some other vegetables and some fish into a pot and when it’s cooked they share it with the lion and then serve bowls of berries for dessert. And afterward the lion walks home, whistling to himself in the moonlight.”
Lucy and Deb’s “Carrot Stew”
Ingredients:
Frozen (pre-cut) or fresh veggies
(I used frozen spinach, 2 diced onions, a bag of baby carrots, a can of new potatoes, 2 ribs of celery, pre-cut bagged zucchini and butternut squash, and canned mushrooms)
1/2 cup pearl barley
2.4 lbs of salmon, cut into bite-sized pieces
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp black pepper
tarragon, to taste
dill, to taste
Auntie Arwen’s Ultimate Garlic Insanity, to taste (Auntie Arwen has a shop on Etsy, and her spice blends are magnificent and reasonably priced.)
Water to cover
Directions:
I swear this recipe is pretty much fool-proof. You just put all the ingredients into a large pot, cover, and simmer until the fish is cooked and the vegetables are tender. It is a very forgiving recipe. I made the whole recipe, without the mushrooms, then added them after Sue had taken her portion, then reheated it until the mushrooms were also warm. Cooking took about two hours, and the resulting stew is wonderful – even after being reheated four days later for today’s lunch.
The recipe is also incredibly Weight Watchers friendly: only 3 Points Plus for a one-cup serving.
Last week, I made a commitment to Robert, my WW coach, that I would meditate at least once a day. He suggested that I use the free trial at Headspace to get started. Even though I have done meditation many times in the past, I figured I’d give it a try, and I love their method, so I have added it to my routine (I don’t talk about this much, but I try to remember to meditate twice a day already). I actually like meditating; it’s refreshing to take a little time to not have my brain running around like a madwoman. I’ve also noticed that on days when I do take the time to meditate, I seem to have less trouble reacting to things that happen.
So that’s where things are today.See you all next time!
- In: Backstory | Comfort Foods | Pictures | Recipes | Restaurants | taking my life back | Walking | Weight Watchers
- 2 Comments
As most of you know, there are three measures by which I know I’ve taken back my life from the health issues of last year: walking, cooking, and blogging. Slowly – far too damned slowly – I am doing all three.
Yesterday, I went to a most excellent housefilk at the home of some friends. Not only was I able to sit up for the whole thing, but I was able to get the rollator up the front steps to their building by myself (normally, Sue or Marc drags it up the steps, while I use the banister to haul myself up)! I was also able to walk to the car after the housefilk, and survive the car rides to and from Josh and Lisa’s place. I was even able to walk around their apartment a little without using any support at all.
But that’s not today’s accomplishment. The roots for that actually go back to a job I had from 1977 to 1987. Back then, I worked for Rialto Management Company, a small real estate firm in midtown owned by Ruben Shulsky. One of the best parts of that job was the little kosher meat restaurant across 30th Street and halfway between Broadway and Sixth Avenue. It had no name, but had some of the best food I had ever eaten. One of my favorite dishes there was cholent – a beef/bean/barley stew. Cholent is one of those things observant Jews eat for Shabbos lunch, because it can be started on Friday before sundown and kept on the top of the stove over a very low heat until they can turn the light off after sundown on Saturday. Well, I loved that cholent, but not being an observant Jew, I didn’t know how to make it. Over the years, I asked observant friends and looked on the Internet for recipes – and there were some interesting ones – but they never quite tasted like the cholent from that restaurant. Cholent is one of those things where everyone has a slightly different recipe, usually learned from their mom.
A few months ago, an acquaintance of mine posted about cholent in an APA we both belong to (AWA, or A Women’s APA). I asked for her recipe, and she posted it in the following collation. I started it yesterday after we got home from the housefilk, and when I tried it for lunch today it was exactly the taste I remembered! I even put it into the Weight Watchers recipe calculator and discovered it’s 5 Points Plus per 1-cup serving, which is not bad for a meal! Without further ado, here is the recipe for Lucy Schmeidler’s cholent, as written in AWA:
Lucy Schmeidler’s Cholent
1 – 1 1/2 lbs lean beef, cut into bite-sized chunks
1 medium large Idaho (russet) potato, cut into bite-sized chunks
1 – 2 medium yellow onions, chopped
6 – 10 baby carrots
2 stalks celery, cut into 1/2″ slices
1 4-oz can mushrooms
1/2 cup pearl barley, soaked
1/2 cup navy or small white beans, soaked
1/2 tsp salt
2 Tbsp paprika
2 Tbsp minced garlic
Cooking oil
Water to cover
3-qt heavy pot
Friday morning: Brown onions in oil. Add meat, potatoes, carrots, mushrooms, celery and water to cover. Cook over low heat, stirring occasionally to keep from sticking. (Deb’s note: We did this for about an hour. Also, since the roomie is allergic to mushrooms, we made it without, and when she had taken what she wanted, I added the mushrooms and reheated it thoroughly.) Add barley, beans, seasonings and more water to cover. Cook covered overnight over low heat without stirring. Serve for Shabbos lunch.
So, I want to thank Lucy for helping me solve a – to me – 35-year search!
In other “taking back my life” news, my surgeon says that I am doing amazingly well – far better than she had expected. I went to lunch with the roomie to a place we often order from over on Emmons Avenue, the Opera Cafe. The food was excellent, as always, and it was good to get out. I’ve also started up the fannish dinner group again, although we have been sticking to places in Brooklyn so far. Future plans include maybe doing a Monday night dinner so the Kosher Krew can join us, and possibly some weekend brunches. There are just too many great places to eat around New York City. (And if anyone reading this is in the area and wants onto the list for the dinners, please leave a comment, email, or otherwise message or call me. I’d be happy to add you to the list. Attendance is not mandatory at all; all I ask is if you are joining us on a given week, let me know in case the group for that week is big enough to need reservations.)
Moving Forward a Bit at a Time
Posted on: December 6, 2016
I mean that quite literally. I have been starting the process of taking my life back again, post surgery. Since Thanksgiving, I have managed to get out of the house at least once a week. This week, I actually managed a dinner with friends on Saturday night and some grocery shopping on Sunday, both of which the ex was willing to provide transportation for. I also did both with my cane, rather than with the rollator or walker, so I am proud of that accomplishment. Mind, going out two days in a row left me kind of wiped out on Monday, but that sort of thing should pass as I get about more. The first time I tried to get out my front door (one small step up), I was exhausted with the effort; now I pretty much just hop out, so things do get better the more I do them.
I committed to my Weight Watcher coach to walk a bit every day, even if only with the walker and in the house. I have been good about doing so, so I am pleased with that so far.
My doctors and I finally seem to have adjusted my blood pressure meds properly. we removed one entirely and reduced a second by one-third. I am still hoping that when I reach my goal weight (currently around 160 lbs.) I will be able to reduce it some more. I have also decided that yoga is still a bit out of my physical reach, so I am looking for a tai chi class on the grounds that the movements are much more gentle.
I don’t really have the concentration to read right now, so I am slowly plugging away at Ron Chernow’s biography of Alexander Hamilton, which is fascinating. I’ve always had a soft spot for books about history, and this one is very engaging. Chernow’s style is lively, and not at all “dry.” I can see why Lin-Manuel Miranda was inspired to write Hamilton by reading it. And, speaking of Hamilton, next time my friend Chris recommends seeing a play while it’s still in previews and relatively unknown, I shall follow her advice.
One of my friends noted in her LiveJouranl that she had lost her MedicAlert bracelet and had to replace it. This led to a conversation with the roomie, and we decided it was time for me to get one. Since I am working at getting more mobile, I will probably not be in sight of the roomie, Naomi, or the ex at all times, so if anything happens while I am wandering about it could be useful. It’s taking me a while to get used to it, though. It’s not something I ever thought I would need. However, I have finally come to realize that taking care of myself is a Good and Useful Thing.
So that’s where things are at this week. It’s pretty good, although I am missing Dee this holiday season more than I have before. I miss hugs and cuddling, although right now I don’t want any hugs where hands travel below the waist, lest I rip the scar from the surgery open more. Still, I am alive and getting well, which is a lot to be grateful for right there.
I have now lived through another presidential election. It has had its moments of glory, such as being able to vote for the first female presidential candidate of a major party It has had its moments of blindness, like a ton of millennials and others throwing away their votes. It has had its moments of hope, such as listening to Michelle and Barack Obama speak about the future. And it had its moments of shame, as various states were called in favor of a candidate who has shown himself to be one of the most flawed people ever to run for the office.
It is now over. Donald Trump has been elected. Hillary Clinton has conceded. Trump now claims that he will unify the country. I don’t see how he can do so, given the things he has said about so many different groups of people. I admit to some baggage here. As a native New Yorker, my opinion of our new President is slightly lower than my opinion of the late Robert Moses.
I do know that every new President has a learning curve, during which he or she finds out that the powers of the office are not totally unlimited, and that one has to negotiate with others. I also know that, no matter how good or bad Trump turns out to be, if he does not learn, he is likely to be a one-term president.
I think the next four years will be harder for many of us than we were hoping. I expect that important things will be destroyed by the new President, the still Republican Congress, and a split Supreme Court. David Gerrold has an excellent post on Facebook about what we are likely to lose and why.
What many people are refusing to understand though is where and shy this happened. They did not understand how many Americans are frustrated that neither party seemed to be listening to their concerns. They did not learn the lesson of Weimar Germany, where people who were frustrated allowed an evil man to come to power.
For the next four years, we will have to deal with the results of the willful ignoring of the frustrations and issues of people who feel they have lost their way of life. As my mother used to say, “Those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.”
Am I scared for myself? Yes, some. I am 64, Jewish, disabled, and poor. Will I survive this president? Most likely. More than afraid, though, I am sad that Americans seem to choose to not learn from history, Heck, I’m sad that many Americans don’t even know the history of this country. I’m disappointed that after years of fighting for progress, and toward the ideals of our Founding Fathers, many people have chosen a leader who seems hellbent on tearing down that progress.
I am not screaming for armed revolt. I am not planning on running away. I am planning on surviving the next four years, and then working to ensure that we elect a President whose goals and values are closer to mine. I will also try to remember that this election was largely a revolt by the citizens who felt that our leaders were not listening to their needs and issues, and that even as illustrious a Founding Father as Thomas Jefferson recommended revolting when the country’s leaders were not listening to the people they were elected to serve.
I’m not sure any of this is making sense. It’s 4:29 a.m., and I am mostly trying to frame my thoughts as to how to deal with the bitter-to-me loss of Hillary Clinton and the Democratic party.
May whatever Deity you believe in sustain you through the next four years.
Food and Weight: An Ongoing Journey 